Monday, January 12, 2009

Colonoscopy 101

Well, the big day arrived. I had the colonoscopy scheduled to happen 6 months ago, but then I got the blood clot and due to the medication I took for that I got a reprieve until today. My biggest concern was not the procedure itself, it was the "prepping" I had in store the day before. My instructions were not to eat ANYTHING at all on Sunday. At 12 noon, I was to take 4 "Dulcolax" tablets. At 4 PM, I was to start consuming "Go-lytely." I ate as much as I could on Saturday night. We went with another couple to Buena Sera in Champlin for a great Italian dinner. I even ate a bowl of cereal when I got home to be sure I was stuffed, and I was.

Woke up early Sunday, let the dog out, and came back to bed. Sunday is usually a pretty good workout day, but I didn't want to work out and not be able to eat afterwards. I fell back asleep until 9:00. Got up, read the paper, then went out shopping when I saw the price had dropped on a 32" HD TV I've had my eyes on for the bedroom. I took the four Dulcolax tablets, which are stool softeners. The minimum you can buy is 25. If any of you have a need for some of these tablets, let me know. I have 21 left.

Got the new TV and hooked it up, beautiful! Our other TV was so old, you could not hook up a DVD player to it, it had no jacks in the back! Anyway, it's now 3:00. One hour away from Go-lytely happy time. I decided to "eat." The instructions said I could not eat anything after midnight on Saturday, except clear liquids. I had some home made chicken broth, and I "ate" 8 ounces. Big whoop, but at least I had something with flavor in my belly. Finally, 4:00 came around. Go-lytely is an Rx you receive; it is a 4 liter jug with powder in it. You fill up the jug with water and shake to mix. The nurse told me you can put Crystal Light in it for flavor, which I did. The deal is this: you are to drink an 8 oz glass every 15 minutes until you have consumed all 4 liters. I had my first glass. It tasted like a poorly made alcoholic drink. Tolerable, but if you had paid for it, you would have sent it back.
I had one, then another, and another, until a little after 5, the first "butt blast" came. Ewwww. Well, once you start, you just keep on rocking. When your body says it's time to go, you don't waste time getting to the throne. I was mildly upset with Diane because she had put the toilet seat down at one point. That extra few seconds to raise it back up almost caused a problem! The goal is to get to a "clear liquid" state. That is not a problem. I was clear after about 1 hour! The problem is, it took me 3 1/2 hours to finish the 4 liters, and I was faithfully drinking 8 oz every 15 minutes. Fortunatley, when I was done with the jug, I only had 3 more trips to the throne, the last one at 2 AM. Otherwise, I slept fine and did not have any accidents. I weighed myself before I started the Go-lytely, 191.6 lbs; this morning I was 186.7. 5 lbs of crap! I also went through a roll and a half of TP.

Monday morning we were at the clinic at 6:30. The doc didn't get me into the room until 7:30. I was done in 15 minutes. They gave me a relaxing drug, but I was totally awake and watched the whole procedure on a screen. Pretty interesting, actually. They didn't find any polyps, which is good, and the doc said to come back in 10 years! I'm thinking of food at this point. We went to 3 Squares restaurant and I ordered a full bacon, eggs, and hash brown breakfast; plus a stack of oatmeal flap jacks on the side, which I washed down with 2 mugs of coffee.

To sum it up, the day before is a waste, because you can't do anything, at least after you start drinking the Go-lytely. I thought I would get a headache from not eating, but I didn't. The food commercials on TV get a little annoying because you are hungry! The procedure is a breeze. I was told by several people to get knocked out for it, but, they don't want to put you completely under and I saw no need to do so. They put air into your colon to make it easier to see with the endoscope. That's the most discomfort I had. The nurse told me to "toot it out naturally" afterwards. So I did.

PS-Sorry, no pictures.


  1. Kenny...Thank you so much for the delightful narrative. I can now hardly wait to have my procedure done.

  2. Oh boy.....I'm 49 years old-I can hardly wait until next year.

    Sounds fairly painless, but since everyone I know tells me I'm full of shit-at least for one day in my life...I won't be:-)

  3. Ran into you at the Donut Guy's blog. I'm and old hat at that proceedure. Three times. My doc gives me a double dose. A feel good drug and one that causes amnesia.

    The effects last for hours and I go in and out of conciousness. One minute I'm putting on my shoes in the hospital, next minute I'm home walking the dogs. The scary one was when I was at a coffee shop, and seeing my car in the lot.

  4. These are all the answers I was looking for! THanks!